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Hitler Dead According to Sources
Apr 31, 1945
The Nazi Regime has announced that as of Monday, Adolph Hitler is no longer with us. The world renowned dictator has passed away after an all out U.S invasion on the city of Berlin. Reporters are still uncertain as to the cause of death which is being kept confidential until further notice. What can be determined is that his family has not left the bunker.
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Funeral service will be announced later this week. Reporters have been instructed to avoid the bunker to give the family time to grieve. More information will be provided as it comes.
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Fire Sweeps the City of Chicago
Oct 11, 1871
The city of Chicago is under a state of emergency after blazes demolished thousands of structures leaving many homeless. An estimated 300 people have been killed with over 200 million dollars in damages left behind. Reports say a combination of dry weather and wood buildings helped the flames extend a range of four miles. It is uncertain what potentially caused the fire in the first place. Police are investigating a local cow for more information.
Technology Advances Further than Ever Expected as Man Lands On The Moon
Jul 22, 1969
It's absolutely unbelievable! The United States has beat Russian scientists laying claim to the title of Moon walkers. Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins and Buzz Aldrin are officially the first men on record to set foot on the Moon. A space mission that took years of preparation is a success.
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The astronauts became world famous yesterday when nationally televised coverage of their spacewalk showed Neil Armstrong leaving his footprint on the surface of the Moon. The spacemen did not stop there. To prevent Russia from ever achieving governmental dominion over the vulnerable space rock, the team left behind a United States flag. Now only the U.S will have access to the space object.
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Dallas Preparing for President's Visit
Nov 18th, 1963
The city of Dallas is ecstatic after hearing that the President and First Lady will be visiting this Friday. In an attempt to build a greater support for the Democratic party, the President and his wife will be campaigning later this week in the state of Texas. They are expected to arrive in San Antonio at 1:30 PM Thursday. After that, they will continue to Houston before reaching Dallas.
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A motorcycle route has been released to the public for spectators anxious to see the commander and chief up close. Air Force One will land in Dallas at 11:38 AM Friday before the couple are escorted to Main Street. The roofs to the vehicles will also be left down to remove any obstruction.
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"We are very excited for this moment" Said one business man who plans to watch from his office building. "I have followed this president ever since his inauguration and have waited for this shot!"
Crowds are expected to be larger than usual so more space is being made available in the nearby bushes. More details to released later this week after Kennedy's trip is over.
Crazy Old Man Claims To Discover "Electricity"
Jun 11, 1752
What is it? We don't know. What does it do? We're trying to find out. A man by the name of Benjamin Franklin says he has discovered a new power source called electricity. And we have no idea what the heck he is talking about!
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Last night, Benjamin Franklin flew his kite in a severe thunderstorm that kept half the public awake. This morning, a town trying to catch up on sleep was woke by a raving mad man talking about some new discovery he made. He actually claimed to catch lightning in a jar.
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Assuming the reports are true, people are still ridiculing Franklin. What good does it do a person to catch a deadly barn destroying substance like lightning in a jar? Perhaps if you are having a feud with your neighbor it can be useful to secretly catch their barn on fire. Otherwise, the public doesn't know what to think about Franklin's so called "big discovery."
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Franklin defended his stance saying he has "big plans for this new form of technology." Only time will tell what he means with these big words he keeps making up. In the meantime, people will use their jars the normal way they know how by storing jelly and milk inside of them.