WSDA Confirms First Murder Hornet Sighting in U.S

The Washington State Department of Agriculture has just confirmed murder hornet sightings in the United States. Americans are warned to keep their distance from this dangerous species. According to reports, the animals pose a threat to individuals with severe health conditions. We aren't going to tell you what those are though.

The murder hornet is easily recognized by its abnormally large size. If you are blind, the presence of one is indicated by the excruciating pain you feel when it stings you. If you still aren't sure, call an expert cause your an idiot.

Experts are warning residents in areas where the beasts exist to stay indoors. Do not open your houses for anyone! Murder hornets can imitate voices. If you open the door, they will eat you alive!

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P.S. You likely went insane when the media fed you this crap about murder hornets in 2020. Be honest... Did actually see any yourself?

Oct 24, 2020